New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have feelings that need drinking.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize