i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
