I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
