M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
