no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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