Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
