I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
