Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
