last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
