I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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