fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
