i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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