yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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