So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize