if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
