He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
