Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize