Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize