ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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