smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
