I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
