she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
