Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hippo gnu deer
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
