I think I am morally bankrupt
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
