I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
