A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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