True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
