Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
