problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
