He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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