doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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