I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
