you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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