Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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