They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize