you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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