Your tits are I can't wait for
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
