she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
