It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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