Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
