Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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