I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
