This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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