Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
