thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dear god my vagina.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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