I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
