So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
