you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
