No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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