haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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