i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
