Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize