It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the day after is always just damage control
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Randomize
