god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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