you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can I color on your dick again?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
