I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Randomize