what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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