Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
