So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
