How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
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