her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
