we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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