I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
