Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
