Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize