I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
