youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
